Life lately

Accepting change is necessary as you grow. Keeping yourself smiling and youthful only glows from within. I've embraced that I am not the same that I was a year ago, let alone 10 years ago.

I'm a 31 year old woman now, and I have unraveled my personality and I know in my core that I will keep on changing as I grow older. What won't change is my need to learn, my curiosity, my creativity, and my sense of justice. 

I prioritize my alone time, but also my exposure to art, and building connections with loved ones.

I stopped writing to justify myself, I write and do art for myself... I'm an open book, but inside a library, waiting to be discovered by the wandering eye.

Right now, I'm doing the hard work to better myself, and damn it's a bitch and it hurts, and I cry a lot... specially end up super tired super early... eventually, I wish to regain energy and momentum to do what I love.

Remember, that eventually you can become what you fear the most, and then... true change can be possible to your best self. 

Enough rambling, now I share that I'm working on my fitness and trying out different makeup.... I cannot say I will bid farewell to gyaru, but... so far I'm not motivated to do anything of the sort.

I love my pink aesthetic, lol.

My face looks fuller, like the moon emoji, but I somehow like it.

I've been super busy at work, doing photoshoots for the brand and dying from stress....

XOXO-

 

Digicam Blog #1: My room and my cat

 

I'll revive this for the sake of y2k nostalgia!

I want to use my digicam even more than I do... so I took a couple of shots of my cat Maya chilling with a fluffy purse strap.

She's so photogenic lol

Using the change to show my messy yet aesthetic desk... 

Will keep doing silly little blogs, at least until I get a printer to use these photos in my journal hehe.

XOXO-

Kiwii-tan

Last Stretch to my 30s

 

Well Hello? I am indeed still around and alive. 

Since July I have not posted anything and my SNS have been reduced to casual interactions and poorly taken selfies. I’ve learned a lot, a lot of low blows and high blows (and some other kinds of blows).

I gotta admit, I am a completely different person, I feel like I shed a really thick and heavy skin. Probably many skins and layers at once? I started a new chapter, because the moment I turned 29 it was clear to me how I wanted my 30s to be. I am not completely there, but we are working and the grind will never stop.

I quit a lot of things, and I started implementing others, some things did not change physically but my perspective expanded.

• To make the story short, I broke up with a long-term long-distance partner. Ending a relationship that expanded officially 4 years (not including how long we had known each other) was obviously difficult and painful. It has been almost 6 months since that day. I chose to take my own path and regardless of everything, I am not regretting my choice or the experience I had with the person.
• I’m a cat MILF now! I am taking care of Maya since my sister could not continue taking care of her. She has honestly made my life a newfound sense of purpose. I wake up and work with her in mind, and that keeps me grounded.
• Got a new place, after being forcefully evicted. However, it ended up being the best choice ever made. I’m closer to work, a nicer and cleaner beautiful place… and overall, my room is huge and now I have space.
• Surprise! I’m autistic!!! Finally spent time and resources to get a psychometric test done. I am working hard next to my therapist to understand my diagnosis better.
• My relationship with my appearance and myself has been better. I am proud to say, that I have learned how to be assertive and kind to myself.

There are many points, but overall what changed the most has been my perspective in life. My relationship with myself was really damaged, but I can tolerate myself better. I am self-aware, really awake, and ready to continue studying myself.

Of course, I get hiccups here and there, I even am aware of my mistakes, and I am always ready to own up to them. I have no fucking clue what is in store, I can only take a guess. Fuck around and find out.

XOXO-

Sunday Thrifting

This is my Sunday blog...

This weekend I had intention to not do much and be lazy, but according to my sister I needed some fresh air.

So she and my mum pulled me out of my cave to go thrifting and to grab food.

For late lunch/early dinner we went to a ceviche Mexican restaurant chain that we actually love. My mom had some shrimp aguachile and my sister some ceviche. 

Note: Aguachile is similar lo ceviche, but it's more limey and it has some sort of  green chiles sauce. 

Then of course seafood= margarita and beer 

Mine was a Coronita Rita.... (trying saying that multiple times)

This was a michelada, but it had some tamarind in there and it was mouth watering!

Then I had a lobster burrito, because I was feeling something creamy and cheesy instead of limey.

I don't typically buy at Salvation Army, but this was a really big one and we spent like two hours checking out every isle with patience. 

These are my gets! The best part was the price, all of these items for aprox 10 USD!

Some albums to collect my cheki and purikura :) since I have too many all over the place.

This top was nice, it reminds me of something I would have worn in 2004 or something. Anyhow, needed more tops that are not graphic t-shirts.

This one could easily go over a bralette. 

This was too good to pass! I will probably use it during fall/winter which is not too far.

My coworkers and I have this thing for long skirts and joking about looking prude-ish. So I will definitely wear it to work and rock the Sunday-school teacher vibe.

It might be too big on the waist, but I can easily adjust it with some pins. 

This wrap dress will take me out of trouble for more dressy events. I don't really go to many, but this kind of print and cut looks great on my body-type.

I needed some retail therapy, but I am glad I did not go overboard. I need to document my daily outfits, at least so I can push myself to make them interesting. The fashion bug in me was fumigated long ago... I'll try to revive it somehow.

Anyways, this was a quick chit-chat I didn't plan. 

Time for bed! Have a nice week! Please stay strong and energetic!

XOXO-

V-Tuber in the Making + Weightloss update

Today's update is a collection on random thoughts and things that happened during my week.

Everything is so random, I can't even thing about a title for the post (LOL). 

First of all, I'm so excited to be so frequent with my posts since I've been extra motivated to share my journey. I am happy some people are reading my nonsense and that it's at least entertaining to 2 or 3 people! 

First we have some sort of trend that has been frequent in the Gyaru Go com! We all are in love with making our avatars in pic me crew and such.

You can make yours here 

I have been taking some medication for weight loss as my doctor recommended. At first I was scared about having to do subcutaneous injections daily, but it doesn't really hurt...  I have a long way to go for my weight goal. I just started, it's my second week with the treatment and almost a month since I started working out constantly.

I gotta say this far working out has become part of my routine and I have found some cool dances I want to try with Marla and Reila. 

My progress so far is fruitful, I feel lighter and overall excited to get to a normal size. I really don't care how long it takes me, I am really positive towards this choice I made. 

I am waiting one more month before I do a complete wardrobe change. I have to save and chose what style I want to build on. 

I was planning on what to wear this Sunday since it's Pride in San Diego. I won't party but it seems like a fun summery Cali coord with H&M hibiscus pieces.

Hat and boots found in Alie and the sweater was thrifted.

I like how my legs look in this dress lol. I still got some fire in me somehow 

Let's talk about the artsy side of my week... I got rejected at work with some proposals and it made me a bit sad, but the show must go on.

As for personal work, I have been working on a original character. This is the initial idea I have for a VTuber. I want to go back to streaming at some point and stop thinking too much about it. I started streaming on Twitch 2021, but I ended up having to quit due to some panic attacks I had during my lives. 

Now that I am doing better, I want to plan ahead and star probably when I move to my new place.

Her name is Hime Michi :) and that's all I can share so far. 

I made some logo for her, but it's not completely done. I will prep the files for her character and commission someone to do the rigging. I would love to learn how to rig, but to be honest I don't have the spare time to do so.... Knowing that, the character art is all I can provide. 

I also have to consume more Vtuber content, so please recommend me your fave!

I also have always been questioning which language I should do my streams in... My accent is so thick when I speak English, and Spanish is a bit more familiar to me. However, I live in the States;;;; 

I will soon share my "To do's" and my "wish" list for the stream with you.

I am now going to go! It's bed time and I'm half asleep.

XOXO-